I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
