erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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