i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
