please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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