You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Pooping to opera.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
