There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
