We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
