My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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