return my video game
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
