I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
