You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
