True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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