you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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