I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
