he shaved USA in his pubs
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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