can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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