Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
