A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
