I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Randomize
