Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
