I love black thongs
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Randomize
