so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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