If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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