Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
