You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
