I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
