I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
