i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
