yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
