check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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