Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
