dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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