Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
