You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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