Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
only if we run a train.
done.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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