If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
