plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
