Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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