i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
