its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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