he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
