That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
