Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
