k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
