roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize