Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
