Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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