saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
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