Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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