She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
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